


Sex tape

by Blood and Weetabix (melchiorstiefel)



Category: Lovely Little Losers, Nothing Much to Do
Genre: Crack, Other, Sex Tape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-09
Updated: 2014-12-08
Packaged: 2018-02-28 18:04:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2741963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melchiorstiefel/pseuds/Blood%20and%20Weetabix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>These are loosely-related. The chapters all have the same backstory, but each chapter is independent, and some of them contradict each other.</p><p>(The backstory is a little too complicated for me to write, but you can glean everything you actually NEED to know within the fic. I might write the full story someday.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The one in which Benedick finds a sextape

This is payback, Ben decides. Sure, he has his own YouTube channel, but he figures it’s only fair that he uploads a video to Pedro’s every once in a while.

But when he logs in to the creator dashboard, he sees an unlisted video.

"What’s this?" Ben murmurs, hovering over the icon — a candid shot of Pedro and Balthazar that he remembers Bea taking a couple of months ago.

The video was only uploaded a few days ago, so it’s probably just waiting for Monday so Pedro can post it. He knows he should probably just wait until Pedro lists the video for everyone to see, but he could never resist a sneak preview.

He clicks on the link, and the video opens to a picture of what he assumes is Pedro’s new bedroom. “Nice place” he mutters as he sits back in his seat.

Suddenly Balthazar comes into view, dressed only in a dressing gown, and Ben’s mind starts reeling.

"This can’t be… Is… Is this a sex tape?"

Really, Ben knows he should close the window and leave it alone, but he just HAS to know if this really is a sex tape.

And then Balthazar drops the dressing gown and lowers himself onto the bed.

He has to admit that Balthazar is attractive, and he certainly doesn’t disappoint, size-wise.

It’s at this point that Ben realises that he’s actually watching his best friend’s boyfriend jerk himself off, and he closes the tab…

After a moment, he decides that’s enough internet for one day.


	2. Never Have I Ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Or, the one in which Stanley B. Jones is not as innocent as everyone suspected.

He doesn’t know how it happened, but everyone managed to get roped into a game of “Never Have I Ever”.  
  
It started off pretty benign, with John’s “never have I ever kissed someone I hate” (Ursula had to force Bea not to drink), and Bea’s “never have I ever been walked in on by my housemate” (to which Ben, Pedro and Balthazar ALL took a drink immediately).  
  
But then it was Ben’s turn, and suddenly Balthazar was regretting joining in on the game.  
  
“Never have I ever…” he grinned slyly, casting his eye around the room. “Never have I ever made a sex tape.” he smirked as he sat back.  
  
Everyone’s eyes were trained on Meg, but she just shrugged and took a sip of her drink.  
  
It was just Balthy’s luck that he happened to be sitting next to her at the time.  
  
He hoped he could get away with being discreet, and that no-one would notice as he knocked back a gulp of his drink, but when he looked back up, it was obvious that everyone else had seen.  
  
Ben let out a low whistle… “Balthy, Balthy, Balthy.” He paused for a second. “I kinda want to see it.”  
  
That earned him a slap round the back of the head from Bea, and Pedro choked on his own saliva.  
  
Pedro then regretted having drawn attention to himself this way, as his brother spoke up.  
  
“Wait. I didn’t see Pedro take a drink! Who was this sex-tape with?”  
  
Balthazar had turned a deep shade of purple by this point, the conversation getting too much for him, but he trained his eyes on the wine stain on the carpet, and quietly spoke.  
  
“It was just me.”  
  
Pedro reached out to rub his boyfriend’s back, and then leaned in to kiss him on the cheek.  
  
“It was so fucking hot,” he whispered into his ear, quiet enough that no-one could hear it.  
  
“Wow.” Ben spoke again. “I still want to see it.”


End file.
